I am the queen of thinking, I will be happy when...
Ever since we moved here, I've had an especially hard time with that way of thinking. It's been so hard starting over, learning to love a new place and make it feel like my home. I've found myself thinking, I will be happy when we finally know where we're gonna settle down, and when we have our own house again, and when I lose 10 pounds, etc., etc,. etc.
I know that's the wrong way to think. There is no reason for me to be anything but happy right now. Things are good here. We're in a nice area, people have been pretty welcoming, Nate is enjoying his job, the girls are doing well. I really can't complain. But since I don't feel fully settled, I'm not allowing myself to live in the moment and just be happy. I'm always either missing my old life or planning my future life.
For as long as I can remember I've always been so anxious about what's coming next for us. When we lived in Liberty Lake (Spokane), I always wondered if it was our final destination. I always figured we would probably end up settling in the Seattle area, so I never fully let myself settle in and just live. I ended up loving Liberty Lake, and now I feel like I wasted some of my time there because I was subconsciously thinking, Well, we're probably not staying here forever, so I will wait until we're in our final destination to really be happy and settled.
I need to be happy now. Marjorie Hinckley said:
So, so true. But it's easier said than done. Changing your way of thinking is really hard, especially when you've thought a certain way for so long. I'm working on it. I don't want to waste the time that we're here, living in a fun area, just because of the fact that I don't think we'll be here forever.
Does anyone else find themselves waiting to be happy? Or always thinking that something better is gonna come, instead of just living in the moment?
7 comments:
Ashley you are so right on! This has been something I've been working on this past year, and it's hard..but doable. As I've worked to have a better attitude and outlook, I've felt happier and more satisfied with every aspect of my life--every single one. It's been amazing. I still have moments of "I want..." or "When..." but over all it's been less and it feels like a burden's been lifted. You will have great years over there and I bet they will be significant in your life. Life is an adventure and who knows what's coming next, but it'll be great if we think it'll be great.
Happy attitude=happy life
Uh, but try to make sure your next adventure brings you back over here by me again :) I know I'm super selfish, but I miss you!
I loved his talk too. I fall into the same thing. After I watched his talk I sat down and wrote out several goals to help me enjoy the journey and the moments of life that will pass so fast. I'll probably re-watch and re-read his talk over and over so I can keep a good perspective and keep up the determination to do what I know I need to...
Before I left LL I knew I wasn't going to make it if I didn't commit to being in the moment and finding joy in the journey. It's not easy to be happy when you are still mourning a life that was so good with so much love. I literally pray everyday to be happy and have a good attitude. I take it one day at a time. Some days are bad, really bad but most days are good. I have taken my scripture study to a level I never have before, I found a great program that is reading the Book of Mormon in 100 days, I'm on day 75, it's made all the difference for me. Also I threw myself into my new ward. Even though it was only for five months I decided to invest myself and I am so glad I did. My heart is heavy having to leave the new friendships I have made but I am so glad that I didn't sit back on the sidelines like I initially wanted to do. I will treasure this time even though it has been the hardest thing ever! We are heading out Nov 10th. We have to wait until Friday before everything is finalized to make any sort of announcements...stay tuned:) Hang in there Ashely! You are so awesome, you have so much to offer! Find ways to serve people, you have lots of talents. My favorite friends I have made out here came from me offering my sewing skills and subbing in primary for six weeks. It really did make me happy to do it and I made some great friendships :)
Yeah, I am always waiting for what's coming next and I get frustrated easily when my life is not perfectly settled and fulfilling like I want it to be. I think the trick is to accomplish small goals on a daily basis and celebrate them. Like: "Yay! I paid the bills today! One month down!"
Also, once you start spending time with dysfunctional people who have lots of drama in their lives and are failing at basic human existence, you start to feel pretty good about what you've accomplished in your own life. :)
Note: The ladies on Pinterest who spend hours and hours and lots of money creating adorable things that no one really cares about are not real. They were manufactured by Pinterest to keep real women glued to their computers instead of going out and actually living their imperfect, chaotic lives. But I have yet to meet someone whose life is perfect.
My life is definitely happier and more fulfilling when I am happy in the moment and enjoy my life here and now.
That's easy to say and hard to do sometimes. Especially when your baby is screaming b/c they're so attached they want to be held all the time, or waking up too many times in the night, or you wish you were back on the vacation you just had, or your psychotic 3 year old has so much energy that is driving you insane....(of course none of these are real examples :)
Life is good. Enjoy the small things and the things you have now, so you're not wishing you enjoyed them later (I'm not preaching to you, more like myself!) Miss you!
It's definitely hard to enjoy every moment if you don't feel like every moment is enjoyable. I sometimes thing that "enjoying" isn't necessarily about sitting back and expecting others to make you happy or situations to change, which is sometimes what I expect. I think enjoying the moment is actively recognizing the blessings we have and changing the things we don't like, or our attitudes about them. I think it's more proactive than anything. I love how your blog always encourages deep thinking! You're pretty cool, and I'm glad your here for my selfish reasons. ;)
I sooooo live in the fuTure.... And it is a very easy frame of thinking to get into....especially when most of us feel that this life is a stepping off place and the next one will be better! I spent 14 years thinking we were going to move and change our way of life and now that we are at this pont, it is pretty overwhelming to say the least. In the mean time, I have tried to enjoy the momentents but where you want to be, ....is never as great as you thought it was going to be when you get there. Be present!!!! Time goes super fast!!!
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