But I have always tried my best to never mention anything about my weight, dieting, dissatisfaction with my body, the word "fat", etc. around my daughters. I would never want them to worry about their weight, or feel like the way they look is the most important thing, or anything close to that. Especially at such a young age. Yes, I know it's hypocritical of me to obsess over my weight, and then not want them to grow up with those same tendencies.
Today I learned that I haven't done as well as I thought at protecting them from that negativity. Out of the blue, Paige came up to me and said, "Mom, am I getting fat?" And she looked down at her tummy.
I just stared at her in shock, with my eyes wide. Maybe for some people that question wouldn't be a big deal, but for me it was. She's 5 years old!
Then she said, "Just tell me. Because if I am, I will eat more vegetables."
I said, "No, Paige. You're not getting fat. Why would you ask me that?"
And she said, "Everyone gets fat sometimes."
What? I don't know where that came from, but I feel awful about it. I guess kids are bound to hear stuff like that at school or on T.V. or whatever, but it still worries me. I have always told myself that my girls were going to have healthier habits and a healthier body image than I do. But how can they if I don't set the example?
I like to watch The Biggest Loser and I've noticed that so many contestants say that their biggest motivator is their families (ie. being around to raise them and setting an example for them). I get that. I feel the same way. Before I had kids, I wanted to lose weight and be fit mostly because I wanted to look good. (Who doesn't?) But as a mother of 3 girls, a bigger reason for me wanting to lose weight and be healthy is because I want my daughters to have healthy, active lives themselves. I don't want them to struggle with their weight and body image like many girls do. I've been thinking about this for a while now.
I'm trying to be a better example. I feel like we eat pretty healthy meals, but we do eat too many "treats." Lately, I've been making green smoothies as our treats, so that's a good start. And Paige and I have been going on walks together, which is fun for her.
Yes, I JUST posted a cookie recipe this morning. I have a long way to go.
5 comments:
Oh man. Obviously I have no amazing advice, since I don't have any girls...yet. But I get how important it is for them to have a positive self image. I just never thought it would start so young. I think it's a GREAT start to make healthy snacks (like the smoothies) and go for walks. Your kids witnessed you training for a half marathon - and don't forget: we are running another one in august. That's a positive thing too.
But pretty hilarious that you posted a cookie recipe recently! They look delicious. For some reason, the only time I feel like baking treats is Sunday night. I had to settle for Christmas Stocking Orange sticks last night. I really wanted cookies.
I have always been so careful around my girls to NEVER talk about my weight or body issues but Maya, now 12.5 yrs old, (seriously how do I have a child that old!) said they other day that she needed to workout because she ate so bad at her friends house that she knew she gained at least 5 pounds and she didn't want to get fat. If anything that girl NEEDS to gain weight! UGH! I guess she ate non-stop junk food all night long...she came home thanking me for making her eat healthy :) I guess that is a plus but I HATE that she has already picked up on weight being a factor in how she feels about herself...grrrr. Don't be hard on yourself, you aren't alone Ashley! On another note...I am totally making those sugar cookies tonight for dessert and because there is nothing wrong with eating those in moderation we are going to enjoy them!
haha that's kinda funny actually. Good news is I think it might be the age. Scarlett has said some things like that lately and it shocks me, but I think it's just them starting to realize people are different. I try not to give it a lot of attention so she wont dwell on it, but I also am trying to be more careful on what I say around her. Your girls are adorable.
My game plan would be to read and learn about the Word of Wisdom together. Maybe suggest that we view ourselves by how we treat our bodies and what we put into them instead of what they look like (because let's face it, we all feel worse about how we look when we eat like crap--even if it doesn't change our physical appearance).
I don't think you're being hypocritical in a bad way. I do the same thing because I want my kids to be better than me. In my opinion, holding your kids to a higher standard than you're currently at is okay as long as they see you making an effort to get there also.
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