Our new place

I had a request to post pictures of the house that we will be renting over the next year. Here it is:

I think it's called a "row home."  A bunch of little houses... in a row.

 Over our fence you can see the playground. It's the elementary school where Paige will be going in the fall. I found out that Kindergarten is all day here. Wow. It's going to be so hard dropping her off that first day. I can't imagine her being there all day without me. I hope she loves it. It's nice that I will be able to walk her to school and that I can watch her at recess too. :)

 We're on the market for a big, comfy rug. Changing diapers on hard floors is not the best.

Master bathroom

This is the loft area. It's a disaster and I think it always will be. Oh well.

 

A new home for my book page wreath


I would post pictures of the rest of the rooms, but everything else is a mess. :)

The last couple weeks

Well, we moved into our (rental) home in Camas, WA on May 12th, so we've been here almost 2 weeks. The few days leading up to the move were so stressful and emotional. But I did have a lot of help from my mom and my little sister, Stephanie, which I was so thankful for. My friend, Jenny, came over and helped with packing and cleaning the night before we left and then also the morning that we left. (Thank you, Jenny!)  It was so hard to say goodbye. I loved Liberty Lake, our home, our ward, our friends and family, etc. I will always miss our life there.

I was nervous for the drive to Camas because Nate was driving the moving truck and I drove our van with all 3 girls. Yikes. We planned on sticking together for the drive, but we left Liberty Lake later than we had planned, so Nate had to go ahead without me in order to meet the guys from our new ward that were going to help us move. I only had to stop twice during the 6 hour drive, but each time took an hour. Somehow, it was not that bad though. All 3 girls were surprisingly well-behaved. Halle slept really well and Paige and Kate actually got along and didn't cry and scream like they usually do. :)  Kind of a miracle.

I arrived at our new home not even 2 hours after Nate did and was amazed to find that the moving truck was completely unloaded, there was dinner on the counter, and Costco food in our fridge. 9 men from our new ward had showed up to help us. How incredibly nice is it for someone to take time out of their Saturday to help someone move in that they don't even know? And some women in the ward had made dinner and put some basic food items in our fridge. So nice.

Overall, things have been good and smooth, but moving is just hard. I don't know my way around here at all, I don't people yet, and I just feel kind of alone. I know it's going to get better, but it's just hard right now. Also, I would like to mention that taking care of 3 kids is not easy. I don't really feel like I can handle taking all 3 of them out of the house very well. It's just chaotic. So I just don't go anywhere, which makes the days really long. It's only been 3 weeks since Halle was born though, and I know it takes time to get used to these big changes. I'm definitely feeling pretty maxed out though. How do people have like 12 kids? I don't understand. Are they superhuman?

Nate is really loving his new job so far. He has a great boss and he loves learning about medical technology. He's excited about his new career, so that makes this all worth it.

Halle is doing really well. She sleeps and eats well and is a pretty content baby. I'm so glad she is healthy and hasn't had any problems. I love her sweet little face. We still have to get her blood test done to find out if she has the same condition as Kate (Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency), and I am dreading that.

 6 days old

 3 weeks old

The girls just love Halle. They want to hold her all day long.

Halle Jane Carter (Birth Story)

Let me just say... I wrote this late at night when I was alone in my hospital room and Halle was sleeping. I wasn't trying to be super "on-the-ball."  I just couldn't sleep and figured I might as well document this while it was fresh in my mind.

Halle arrived on Wednesday, May 2nd at 4:02 AM. She weighed 6 lb. 15 oz. and was 19.5 inches long. She is so sweet, and we are so excited that she made it here safe and sound. Her birth is definitely an experience I will never forget...

On Tuesday the 1st I had a doctor's appointment and was almost 5 cm dilated. My doctor stripped my membranes again. I told him I had been having lots of contractions since Friday, but they were not getting regular. He offered to admit me that night and break my water. If that didn't work, he would start some pitocin. I had planned not to be induced, but since I really wanted her to come well before our move, I said "yes." He said I could come to the hospital at 8 PM on Tuesday.

All afternoon and evening I was having lots of contractions. Nate and I walked around our neighborhood a lot. For quite a while the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. They were getting painful, but not unbearable. Then at around 6pm I got a call from Labor and Delivery saying they were understaffed and I would not be able to come in that night to break my water. I was bummed, but also felt like maybe it was for the best. But I also told the nurse that I was having contractions 5 min apart, and that I might be heading to the hospital either way.

At around 11 PM my contractions seemed to be getting farther apart. I thought, Oh great, it was false labor. It's all gonna stop. So I decided to get some sleep. I laid in bed and timed contractions and they were more like 10-12 min apart. I eventually fell asleep, but then woke up at about 2 AM in a lot of pain. I knew it was the real thing at that point. The pain was getting intense really quickly, and my contractions were only about 2 min apart! Then I started shaking and threw up. I knew from my past 2 labor experiences that shaking and throwing up could mean I was really far into labor. I was pretty scared at that point. Nate and I rushed out the door and he called the hospital to say we were coming. I was freaking out the whole drive because it was incredibly painful and the contractions were coming so fast. We both thought I might not make it to the hospital. Luckily, we did.

Since it was the middle of the night we had to go in the ER entrance. They pulled up a wheelchair and walked me to L&D. I was embarrassed because I was so not in control of myself. I was in so much pain that I was sort of crying and hyperventalating with each contraction. Eventually I stopped caring, but it just sucked being in so much pain in front of a lot of people. I felt like everyone was staring at me.

It was 3:20 AM when I checked in at L&D. When the main nurse saw how much pain I was in, he sent me straight to a delivery room. I quickly changed into a gown and he checked me. 8 centimeters! Oh my gosh. I knew it was probably too late for an epidural. I have always wanted to try giving birth without any drugs, but I didn't think I would actually do it. One of the nurses said it was most likely too late, but then another one said they may be able to get one in time. I don't know what came over me, but I said, "I would like to do it without the epidural." I figured this was my one chance to do it drug-free since I was already 8 CM and I knew she was coming soon. I also thought there was a good chance that they could put the drugs in and then it would not kick in before she came out anyway. Plus, I know that there is NO WAY I could have held still for that epidural. I was in waaaay too much pain and the contractions were so close together that I hardly had a break at all between them.

My doctor arrived really quickly and he checked me again and said I had just a little bit of cervix left. I asked him how much longer he thought I had because I felt like I couldn't handle any more. He said maybe a half hour at the most. I thought, that is way too long! Luckily, I didn't have to wait that long. Within 10 minutes or so I was screaming and crying during each contraction. I knew I probably seemed like a crazy lady, but I didn't care anymore. It was like an out of body experience. I had no control. Nate was pressing on my back as much as he could and I was squeezing him and crying. He said he felt so bad for me and it was hard for him to watch me go through that when there was nothing he could do.

At 4 AM (just 40 min after arriving at the hospital) I felt extreme pressure and the urge to push. I said, "she's coming!" The doctor and nurses gathered around and I pushed my hardest one time. Her head was out. I screamed as I was pushing, and my doctor said, "try that again without screaming."  Ha ha. Easy for him to say. He knew I needed to focus my energy on the pushing though, so I'm glad he said that. Knowing that she was almost out and wanting the pain to end so badly, I pushed again without screaming as much, and she came right out! I will never forget that feeling of relief. The pain was over. Well, it still burned for a few minutes, but that was nothing compared what I had felt for the last hour.

Nate and I were so happy to see our little girl. She looked great. She was pink and crying and a good size. What a relief! She looks a lot like Paige did as a newborn. I'm so glad she is here and everything has gone really well so far.

P.S.  Her name is pronounced Hal-ee, like the actress Halle Berry. :)

What a mean trick!

Here's a baby update...

I had my 39 week appointment yesterday. My doctor checked me and I was 4 cm dilated (woohoo!) and then he stripped my membranes. A couple hours later I was having some random contractions, but nothing major, and I was also feeling lots of low back pain. Then around 9 PM my contractions were getting somewhat regular at 10-15 minutes apart. They were getting more painful too. I was getting excited because I was "sure" it was the real thing, but I was also terrified that she would come before Nate got home. He gets home at 11 AM today. I had those somewhat-regular contractions (generally 10 min apart) up until 4:30 AM, so I wasn't getting much sleep because they really were painful. And then... it all stopped. No more contractions or anything at all.

Is that crazy or what? I don't know how that could go on for so long and be so painful, and then stop. Geez. But maybe it helped me dilate more? I feel like real labor has to start somewhat soon if I was having contractions for that long. At least I really hope so.

I want her to come ASAP because we are moving two weeks from today, so I need all the recovery time I can get.

P.S. My experience last night helped me to remember something... umm, this is gonna hurt!

39 weeks pregnant

Paige (me venting)

Paige and I have been having a hard time lately. When I say "lately" I mean for the past 9 months or so. Maybe more. I love her to death, obviously. She is so smart and so funny. But she is also so strong-willed. I guess that's the word for it. She is definitely a leader and knows what she wants and hates being told what to do. It makes being her mom very, very hard. I struggle so much everyday, trying to be patient when she refuses to listen to anything I say and usually does the opposite of what I say. I often end the day feeling like an absolute failure because I have zero control in our relationship.

I have to share a little conversation we had today (which was a horrible day, filled with Paige screaming and lots of crying by both of us).

Paige:  I wish we could get along better.  (Sad, huh? I know... I feel awful.)
Me:  Me too. What do you think would help?
Paige:  If you just let me do whatever I wanted. I would be so nice to you if you did. I swear!


So that's where we differ on how things should be handled. :)  Seriously though, I never thought parenting a 4 year old would be so hard. I just don't know how to handle her sometimes. The weird thing is that Nate doesn't seem to have problems with her. He claims that when I'm gone she is much more obedient. What? He is so much more in control than I am. I really don't know what to do or how to be a better mom for her, but I have a feeling that things will get better with time. Maybe I'm wrong or just delusional, but I think this is just a phase. It is, right?

Easter

Paige was so excited to look for eggs that she fell down the stairs.

The girls loved Easter. Paige had so many questions about the Easter Bunny. Where does he live? Can I dig in the yard and find him? Is he a real bunny or does he wear a costume? etc...

I always have a hard time with holidays where you have to lie to your kids. I hate making stuff up and I feel guilty for lying to them. I know they're probably not gonna be traumatized when they find out the truth, but it still just feels weird to me.

Oh well. It was a fun day. :) I hope Paige got the idea of what Easter is really about. It's nice that it's always on a Sunday so that we can get the gospel message instead of just celebrating the Easter Bunny and candy.

If you like bawling your eyes out...

read this:

http://mycamokids.blogspot.com/2012/01/meeting-vi.html

I am so amazed and inspired by adoption stories, and I can't stop thinking about this one. Hopefully you won't sob for an hour like I did.

P.S. I've got crazy pregnancy hormones, so don't judge. Seriously though, read it. OK? Thanks.